“If you want to be happy, put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind” ~ unknown
I’ve been feeling stressed for the past two days. I created a 5-month group coaching program for engineering leaders set to start in mid February. Thinking back on my own leadership journey, I was super excited to offer this program to help people transform into a leader that they aspire to be.
I enrolled two people in the first two weeks after I announced the program.
Then, I had a few conversations with people who aren’t the right fit last week.
Then, I panicked this week since I’m only two weeks away from the start date.
I started questioning if the program is gonna be valuable if we only have two people. I wonder if I need to put more messages out there on social media where I really don’t know how to write in a way to “generate leads”.
I’m writing this post because I want to share my process. The process of creating something new is usually messy while people only see the sexy results.
As working professionals, we are very used to presenting ourselves in a certain way. Especially, when we think this is the opportunity I can’t screw up. We have the perfect image in our head on how things are supposed to go. We want to control everything to drive the desired outcome. We carry all the weight (including other people’s weight) on our shoulders not knowing what’s truly in our control.
I don’t know about you. I got burned out so many times to pursue perfection or want to control everything. Even when I got the result I want, I secretly think I just got lucky. People will eventually find out that I’m a fraud.
In the past year, I learned to trust the process and myself more. I learn the most when things don’t go as planned. I thought I’m doing a good job until I caught myself thinking how “perfect” it would be if I could enroll at least one more person.
We often teach what we need to learn the most. Ouch!
So, my learnings from the group coaching program this week are:
- Be me. Share what I learn and hopefully it’ll help at least one person.
- Be messy. It gives people permission to stretch and get messy as well.
- I’m good at coaching but not so good at setting a realistic timeline for client enrollment.
- With fewer clients, I can engage each person more to make the program even more amazing for them.
- I’m in charge of putting myself out there and having powerful coaching conversations. The rest is out of my control and I am good with it. I’m in it for the long haul and I’m here to build deep relationships. Opportunity will come in the future when I serve deeply.
Most people think we need to have all the answers to be successful, the truth is we are being successful when we are willing to fail forward.
Love,
Wen
P.S.
- If you are an engineering leader who wants to up-level your leadership skills, lets talk!
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