I got ghosted this week by two people. I also got a last-minute reschedule request on the day of the meeting. This happens almost every week. Sometimes, I initiated the gathering. Sometimes, others reach out to schedule the meetings.
I used to feel undervalued when no-shows happened. The thoughts like “I’m not good enough for people to value their time with me” can easily surface. Being-on-time is a very important value of mine. I directly translated the no-shows as not respecting me. In other words, I took it personally.
However, as situations like this continue to happen, I realized it’s not really about me. Other people’s words and actions reflect who they are, not who I am. Even if I understand it intellectually, emotionally, I’m still puzzled. I started diving deeper into what’s really going on. (Of course, other than health reasons and true emergency)
We live in a world where words become increasingly cheap. Many ads, politicians, or even the leadership teams at companies, show us how to use words to make promises without backing it up with actions.
Then what happens? We simply stop trusting people who only pay lip services.
Yet, we unintentionally learn these bad habits or downplay the importance of keeping our words.
- It’s okay to show up late to a meeting.
- It’s okay to reschedule at the last minute.
- It’s okay to tell white lies.
- It’s more common for people to ghost an interview, or worse, a job offer.
There are so many seemingly legitimate reasons or forces that “happen to” us so we can’t honor our words.
I get it. It’s not a big deal. It’s so much easier to be accommodating and understanding. Especially for people pleasers, it’s super uncomfortable to confront people who don’t keep their promises. “What would people think if we hold them accountable to their words instead of giving them a pass?”
Nobody’s life depends on it. Or, is it?
“Failure to Commit Is The High Cost of Low Living ~ SFH/kab”
Yet, one of the common coaching topics with my clients is helping them to hold themselves and their teams accountable to deliver maximum results.
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When we can’t trust other people’s words, or worse, we can’t trust our own words, what kind of life and world are we creating?
It is super uncomfortable for me to write this post. I mulled over this post for weeks debating if I should publish it. I decided to do it anyway because I care about my readers so much that I don’t care. I would like everyone who reads this post to experience the power of being their words.
Because, doing what we say we will do – being our own words has its special power.
- Our words carry weight so people listen.
- We are at the cause, not at the effect. In other words, we are always at choice!
- Things get done.
- Trust and confidence toward ourselves and others are built over time.
- We live a better life and inspire others to do the same.
- No more energy leak guessing why people don’t do what they say they would do.
I take my words seriously because I use words to create. I use my words to write this post to create myself, you, and others, powerfully.
I don’t commit to things easily. Because when I commit, I make it happen. When I can’t make it, I apologize sincerely. I examine where my system fails and re-write a new agreement with others. I owe it to myself because I’m the one who is acting out of integrity.
Being my words is keeping the commitment I make to myself.
When we actively choose to being our words always, we create a world that’s trusting, reliable, and loving by default. I would very much love to see that world by influencing others, one person at a time.
Love,
Wen
P.S.
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