In a connection call with a coach a while ago, she gave me this challenge: “You are forbidden to ask the HOW questions for a week.”
I was speechless. But, I knew it IS exactly what I need.
As an engineering leader, I’m trained to look for and solve problems. It’s my second nature. It works wonders until it doesn’t.
For many, our heads are often full of the HOW questions. How do I get this done? How do I fix this thing? How do I inspire? How do I prove myself? How do I become a public speaker? How do I learn a new language?
The truth is, we have abundant “how to” videos, articles, and classes to teach us the how. Yet, we don’t see the results.
“When something we want is not happening, the missing piece is usually not the how. “
Steve Chandler
The missing piece oftentimes is the WANT.
Wait a minute! You said. I do want to solve that issue. I do want to be a public speaker. I do want to inspire.
And, I’m going to push back and say – you don’t want it enough. Your desire is not strong enough to move you into action and keep doing it until you succeed.
Maybe you have more important priorities. Maybe you have other values you are honoring. Once we establish that the thing you said you want might not be what you really want, we can relax and cross it off the list! 😎
However, if you still WANT to accomplish the thing, then it’s time to upgrade your questions:
- “What makes it important for me to do the thing I want?” – use this question to strengthen our intention by connecting ourselves to a bigger purpose. It helps us shift our focus from the head to the heart on what’s truly important to us. This moves us into action and keeps us going.
- “What is the next tiny step I can do to get closer to getting the thing?” – This question removes the overwhelm we often feel when we do something unfamiliar.
Now it’s your turn! Try it and let me know how it goes. 🙂
Love, Wen