In a recent coaching session with a client, she brought up a very good question – “how do I stay true to myself, especially when fears come up?”
Such a great question! I might have an unpopular answer to this question – it’s in every choice we make!
Fears always come up when we step into the unknown or think about other people’s judgments about us. It’s called being human!
Sometimes, we are not ready to make those heart-centered choices because the fears are too strong. It is more than okay because you are simply at where you are supposed to be.
Yet, we all get to a point – when we dread going to work, when we can’t be true to ourselves for too long, when a change occurs that pushes us to reexamine our situation – we can’t help but wonder “what more might be out there?” or “am I fully utilizing my greatest potential?” or “what do I really want?”. When we start asking these questions, the world starts to open up!
My very first client just quit her consulting job to focus on being a founder, helping people master speaking and communication skills. We’ve come a long way.
In 3 years, we’ve worked through years of conditioning, fears, and “shoulds”. The topics are broad and deep – confidence, accountability, conflicts, inner-critic, needing approval from others, setting boundaries, burnt out, FOMO, values, self-compassion. Among all, most importantly, getting clarity of what she really wants and what tiny (or big) steps she can take to get there.
With her dreams in mind, she started making conscious choices. (Spoil alert: it’s a never ending process and that’s a good thing! 😎)
- She challenged her “shoulds” and rewrote the rules so it’s aligned with who she wants to be.
- She chose to work as a part-time consultant and ended up making more money with a better work-life balance.
- She chose to spend time building small apps solo, talking to customers, and learning from every experience.
- She created the lifestyle she wants by setting clear boundaries and routines.
- She embraced her uniqueness and her desire to drive different solutions that just work.
- She moved from being an individual contributor to leadership roles. Now she shares leadership lessons freely to create more impact!
- She leveraged her superpower, her breath of skillset, her unique perspectives, and her values, in environments to produce the best outcomes.
- She quit the consulting job (and stable income) that she wasn’t fully engaged with to embark on the adventurous life of a startup founder! 🚀
Don’t get me wrong. None of these choices were easy. We’ve worked through the kinks session after session to untangle the things that’s blocking her or draining her energy. With every choice, she stepped into more and more of who she really is with more confidence and freedom. Writing her own rules and designing her life become simpler.
Everyone is at a different stage with a different timeline making his/her/their own decisions. It can take as little as one insight in a coaching session to have your world drastically shift. Sometimes, it can take months or even years. The good news is – once you start exercising the muscle of choosing what’s most true to you, the next choice gets a bit easier. And, the next one gets better and better!
When we make a choice to follow what our heart truly desires, we are being a superhero to ourselves. We save ourselves by choosing ourselves. In turn, we change the world by modeling it for our partner, our kids, and everyone we love!
How are you being a superhero to yourself?
If you want support on your superhero journey, let’s talk!
Love,
Wen
P.S. If you want to master your speaking and community, please try Mic Mentor!