In coaching sessions, one thing I love to do is to get my client to move from head into body and then into heart.
We navigate the day using mostly our head. Our mind (some call it ego) makes snap judgments of the situation oftentimes with voices to keep us safe. It’s rightfully so. We are here because all of our ancestors were alert enough so they got to pass on their genes for thousands of years. As humans continue to evolve, our instincts to survive remain. It only takes a split second for our mind to prevent us from the dangerous unknown. Yes, the known is super safe but also very confined at the same time.
As human beings, we also love to explore and to expand. New experiences, growth, and adventures make us feel alive. When we move our attention from our mind into our heart, we find clarity. We know intuitively about who we are and our true desires. We dare to dream with the courage to take steps to get there.
I don’t know about you. When I’m coming from my heart, I feel constant joy and flow. Everything is possible. The world is my playground.
Yet, whenever I am thinking of doing something new, I feel the need to fight my ego.
“Are you sure you can handle it?”
My ego demands my attention to avoid danger. The “shoulds”, doubts, and fears are like a finger in my ribs. I spend so much more energy to prove I can survive with every hard-earned expansion.
I’m on this journey of listening and operating from my heart, I feel the push to expand and the pull to stay safe ALL THE TIME. I know I’m not alone.
With so much work involved, I can’t help wondering – how to get my head toward the same direction as my heart so the new paths can be joyful and effortless. My mind is an expert at problem solving. How wonderful would it be if my heart provides direction to what I truly desire and my mind does its magic to make it happen!
It sounds amazing!! But, how do I get there?
Well…I don’t have an answer. I’m writing this post because I love to share my work-in-process with you.
I learn that my mind wants to keep me safe because of my fear of failures and rejections. (anyone shares the same fear?)
But I know if I don’t do anything about what I want, I fail ahead of time. If I only follow the rules created by others, I reject myself anyways.
In other words, failures and rejections happen the moment I choose to avoid the unfamiliar.
As silly as it sounds, it’s much safer in my mind because the failures and rejections are not public. What my ego wants to avoid is other people’s perception of my failures and rejections.
Wow! I let my imagination of other people’s perception stop me from going after what I want. And these imaginations aren’t even real.
Fear is false evidence appear real
Therefore, I commit to a challenge today to strengthen my muscle of handling failures and rejections: I am going to ask for 30 things I want AND expect to collect 30 rejections in 30 days.
As I think about the challenge out-loud, it’s scary and exciting at the same time!
If you also have the same fears, please join me in this challenge! Let’s have some fun!
Love,
Wen
P.S.
- If you wonder how the challenge might work, watch this Ted talk
- My first ever book, Inspiring Women Professional Who Boss Up, is coming out in December! 🥳 It’s super exciting and I plan to write a post about my journey soon!