I caught up with a potential client a few days ago.
She just started a new job as the head of the department at a startup. She has the highest title ever in her career while doubling her salary!!!
I congratulated her on taking such a big leap!
But she didn’t seem to be happy.
When I asked about it, she told me – “I referred a friend to a company. She got the job and I learned her salary is almost twice as mine. I can’t stop thinking if I’ve made the wrong choice and that position could have been mine.“
Ouch!
Just like that. The excitement of the new title and a much better pay vanished.
Regardless of how she created this opportunity for herself, all she could think about were the doubts, disbeliefs, and what-ifs.
I oriented her back to WHY she reached out to this startup so proactively. She literally created the position before the company even realized they needed her. Her foresight and persuasion were incredible!
She told me she chose this company because she wants more responsibilities, to make the call, and to learn quickly!
I then asked her – “do you feel you get what you wanted at your current company?”
She said yes – and much more.
She has equity in the company. She gets to influence executive teams on a daily basis. She gets the opportunity to grow her own team.
Then I asked her – “if you earn all the experience and grow with the company, do you think you can double or even 5x your salary in the near future?”
She nodded.
We finished the coaching conversation with her feeling motivated and excited again.
I want to share this story with you because we have all been there.
- We feel lucky to have a great manager and a great team. But when we hear about other people’s promotions, we feel we are in the wrong place instantly.
- We compare our current manager to our BEST EVER manager and feel sorry for our circumstances.
- We are perfectly happy with our home until we see a friend’s mansion.
- Our kids are perfectly happy playing in the backyard. Until we hear other kids have better grades, we doubt if we should get them to study harder instead.
Sound familiar?
Comparison is the thief of all JOY ~Theodore Roosevelt
Comparison can push us from heaven to hell, almost immediately. All it takes is one thought!
Once we have the awareness, we get to CHOOSE.
If we really want to compare, always compare ourselves.
- What new learnings I acquire today makes me wiser than yesterday?
- How have I been a better leader than 3 months ago?
- How have I adapted to the change after the layoff or re-org that helped me be more resilient?
- How much creativity have I expressed of myself?
- What relationships have I built and deepened that truly make me happy?
You might be surprised at how far you’ve come! 😉
Love, Wen
P.S. I just opened an instagram account @wen.coaching. Please follow me if you are on it!