I was not the best student for most of my life.
In fact, there were times when I might have been one of the worst.
There was a lot of shame around not being admitted to the best schools or joining the most famous companies.
This led me to want to prove people wrong—to show that I am enough without these brand names attached to me.
I started chasing an invisible standard to prove myself.
I deliberately chose a higher standard for myself so no one could judge me harsher than I judged myself.
I prided myself on being the expert in the room, knowing all the answers.
I carried the heavy weight, worrying about anything unexpected that might chip away at the “perfect” outcome.
I thought this was what was REQUIRED for me to “get there.”
And when I “got there,” I believed I would finally be valued, seen, and enough.
Luckily, I realized a while back that this was THE BIGGEST LIE I told myself.
The lie’s only guarantee is busyness and burnout, which some people wear like a badge of honor.
Sound familiar?
Through many years of un-learning, I can now openly say:
- I am not an expert in public speaking.
- I am not an expert in knowing exactly what to do.
- I am not an expert in doing something or anything perfectly.
- I am not an expert in solving all of my problems, let alone all of yours.
- I am not an expert in advising how you should think or lead.
- I am not an expert at advancing anyone’s career.
When I am open to the idea that I’m NOT an expert, I shed all the weight off my shoulders.
I slowly tap into the JOY of not being an expert—and simply being human instead.
By claiming I’m not an expert, I create vast space for me to be playful, light, and silly.
- I can be fascinated by a problem like solving a puzzle for the very first time.
- I am open to taking risks since failure is not only permitted but expected, encouraged, and celebrated.
- I ease into not knowing the solution and co-create something new and amazing with the person in front of me.
- I do not feel bored as I’m constantly creating instead of repeating.
- I focus on improving one thing at a time and let other balls drop.
- I remove the image and shield that I wear so people get to know the real me, beginning a journey of true belonging.
- I am excited to meet someone who’s better than me so I learn more.
- I am curious about everything with an open heart.
- I become both a master and a student, knowing I’m exactly where I am meant to be.
Now it’s your turn to try this on for fun!
What will you do differently if you are not the expert?
Love, Wen