I almost didn’t write this post, even though I passed the 3-year mark of coaching full-time in September.
I had a slow start this year, and I kept asking myself: “Why am I not where I want to be yet?”
That question brought up feelings of being behind, not enough, and ashamed. (Yes, even now, I still experience those emotions.)
And when those feelings arise, my default is to do what I’ve always done—work harder, keep pushing, keep striving until I catch up with where I think I should be.
“Who has time to reflect and celebrate when there’s so much to be done?” I kept telling myself.
But then, my coach reminded me of something that shifted my perspective completely:
“The way to measure your progress is backward, against where you started, not against your ideal.”
~ Dan Sullivan, The Gap and The Gain
That simple idea has been a gift.
I stopped comparing myself to this elusive “ideal” and instead took the time to measure how far I’ve come from where I was last September.
Here’s what I’ve gained over the past year and the lessons I’ve learned:
- Facing My Emotions: I’ve learned to face my emotions—fear, shame, anxiety—head-on, allowing myself to feel them deeply, even when it’s uncomfortable. The tears I’ve wiped away are evidence of healing, acceptance, and self-love. Every emotion is a teacher, guiding me to listen more closely to myself instead of resisting.
- Sharing My Story: I spoke to my largest audience yet—125+ women in tech. What I once saw as weaknesses—being a woman, immigrant, introvert, and lesbian—have transformed into my superpowers. Now, I’m paid to share that journey with others, and that’s a powerful shift.
- Building Practices of Well-being: Yoga, morning walks, and meditation are now part of my daily routine, helping me stay connected to my body and grounding me in the present moment.
- Achieving Milestones: I earned my PCC credentials, representing over 1,000 coaching hours in just 3 years. But more importantly, I’ve grown with each hour I’ve spent with my clients. I’m reminded that everything happens perfectly, even when it doesn’t seem that way at the time.
- Expanding My Capacity: I created “WenGPT” and play with AI daily to 10x my productivity, allowing me to serve at a higher capacity.
- Learning Through “Failure”: I’ve experimented with collaborations that didn’t pan out, but each one taught me invaluable lessons about what I truly want in partnerships. The freedom of not having all the answers allows me to explore new opportunities with curiosity and playfulness.
- Building Bridges, Not Walls: I used to see other coaches as competition, but now I see them as allies. Together, we raise the collective consciousness of humanity.
- Raising My Energy: Through deep personal work and refining my systems, I’ve created a life where people or situations impact my energy far less than before. My relationships are now rooted in love, acceptance, and non-judgment.
How about you?
What gains have you made since yesterday, last month, or last year?
I’d love to hear what progress you’re proud of—share it with me by hitting reply. Let’s celebrate our gains together!
Love,
Wen