Many people come to me wanting one thing – to be able to speak up more and share themselves with confidence.
Yet, one of the biggest barriers for immigrant women, or even white women, is how we are not confident about the way we speak.
It hinders our ability to share our ideas, to influence others, and to reach our full potential.
Some people might tell me they are embarrassed about the accent or filler words we use. But it’s really NOT about that at all.
It’s all about how we show up.
Oftentimes, we speak in a way that minimizes ourselves.
We don’t want to look like showing up.
We don’t want people to think badly about us.
So, we wait to not be the first one to speak up.
We try to be polite but before we know it, the meeting is done. We miss the opportunity to share and beat ourselves up in our own seat.
Often, we do this unconsciously. It’s so ingrained in us that we are only aware of it when an opportunity slip by.
We use words like “just” or “kind of” to make ourselves small.
For example, we say “I just want to offer my experience” when we are the most qualified person in the room. Or,
“I kind of led my team to deliver the project a week earlier than scheduled” when we work our asses off to deliver satisfying results.
Go back and re-read the two sentences without “just” and “kind of”.
Feel the differences?
Language is powerful.
If we want to have more confidence, it starts with owning our own words.
This means – owning what we’ve achieved as FACT without minimizing it.
It’s not bragging if we’ve done it.
It’s not interrupting if you have an important point.
It’s simply educating others.
We try to be humble is actually a disservice to everyone because people don’t get to know our awesomeness!
When we own our success, our words and our body are in congruence so we show up more powerfully.
That’s how we get to create more impact and gain more confidence afterwards.
Love, Wen
P.S. I am doing Facebook and LinkedIn Live every Tuesday at 8:45am PST starting today until the end of May to honor Asian American Heritage Month in May. I will talk about topics around Breaking Barriers for 10-15 minutes each week and will talk about my upcoming Breaking Barriers group coaching program! Please join the live stream if you are available! 😉