“I don’t get it. Sometimes, I feel like I can achieve anything I want with ease. Other times, I feel paralyzed by fears and doubts, feeling completely stuck. And now I’m in that stuck mode for years,” Amy told me.
“This is completely normal,” I assured her.
Her words reminded me of a Native American parable:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
When I first heard this story, it shocked me. I didn’t know I was unconsciously feeding the even wolf by:
- Replaying my mistakes, wishing they were different
- Thinking I’m behind and not enough
- Believing I need to make others happy to be valued
- Feeling I’m not contributing when I’m not producing
- Comparing the worst of myself to the best of others
- Doom-scrolling on social media
- Worrying about the worst possible outcome
The list goes on and on…
It’s not that I want the evil wolf to die. It’s not possible, even if I try.
But now I know I can CHOOSE where I focus my attention on and “learn” how to feed the loving and joyful wolf, which has become a lost art.
- Believe that I’ll be okay
- Forgive myself for all my judgments
- Know that I’m not alone
- Accept I’m exactly where I need to be
- Be present with myself and others
- Dream about possibilities
- Track my daily progress than the distance toward my dream
How about you?
Which wolf will you choose to feed today?
Love,
Wen