“White males are ego-driven jerks!”
I said this aloud to a room full of people.
Some women nodded.
Most white males stayed silent.
Maybe you’re a white male reading this now.
And yes—it made me uncomfortable to even say it.
But beneath that provocative statement was a belief I didn’t want to face:
“White males are more powerful and make more money.”
I hated this belief. Yet, I subconsciously gathered evidence to support it:
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My white male peers got promoted faster—even when I outperformed them.
- A white male executive laid me off two months into his tenure, just as I was due for a promotion.
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A white male peer coach charged 10x what I dared to ask.
The evidence wasn’t just mine—I sought it out in others’ stories too:
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A female leader fired after prioritizing women hires.
- A female executive downplaying her brilliance to avoid threatening her male CEO.
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Trump, re-elected despite criminal charges.
Each story reinforced a painful thought: “This is just how the world works.”
The Payoffs of My Belief
I won’t sugarcoat it—holding onto this belief was comforting:
- I got to feel “right.”
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I had a place to direct my anger.
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I could blame “the system” and avoid full accountability.
But At What Cost?
I could have stayed here—clinging to resentment, bonding with others over a shared “enemy,” and staying stuck. This belief came with a price tag:
- I limited myself before even trying. (Why bother? Nothing’s going to change.)
- I created a world of “enemies”.
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I missed out on joy by refusing to fully own my actions.
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I judged myself harshly every time I met a supportive white male.
So I asked myself:
Am I Willing to Let This Go?
My Answer: 100% yes.
Letting go of this belief was freeing in ways I never imagined:
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I felt lighter—no longer using anger to fuel change.
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White males stopped being “enemies” in my mind.
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I started owning my actions, regardless of the system.
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I celebrated successes—mine, and theirs too.
It Wasn’t Easy—but It’s Worth It.
I won’t pretend letting go was simple. It wasn’t.
But the possibilities it opened were so much bigger than the comfort I left behind.
How About You?
Is there a belief—about yourself or others—that’s holding you back?
What might change if you decided to let it go?
Loving you,
Wen
P.S.
If you’re ready to trade resentment for possibility, let’s talk!