When I connect with people, there is this one common thing that people want: SUCCESS.
When I dig deeper to what makes them successful, I find that many people’s measurements of success are external-motivated.
- We compare the worst version of ourselves to the best version of others we see on social media
- We think about the things we do NOT have right now and hope to be happier once we have it
- We please people around us and deliver what others want from us. e.g. more responsibilities, work harder, always in control
Being external-focus often robs our happiness because we let the outside world define our success.
It’s very hard to not be influenced by others when our brain is wired to be social. It also doesn’t help that social media is designed to put us in FOMO and disconnect us from the present moment.
To be successful, the most important step is to know what it means to us, not what it means to our parents, friends, bosses, or coworkers.
To get clarity of what success is, people often ask the question, I’ll be successful when …, which puts us in the lack of it.
As a transformative coach, I love giving people a better question to ponder: “I know I am being successful when …”
The keyword is being. When you’re being successful, you have it NOW.
Here is my list of I know I am being successful when:
🌟 I can wake up everyday and ask “what would I like to do today”
🌟 I can be with my family for a month every year
🌟 I work on projects that excite me and allow me to be in my zone of genius
🌟 I can help others being successful in their own definition
🌟 My writing impacts one person
🌟 My passive revenue exceeds my life style needs
🌟 People who I care about feel my love toward them all the time
🌟 I can live in anywhere in the world I choose
🌟 I play by my own rules
I do not make what I used to make in the tech industry yet, which is a big step backward for many. However, my conscious choices enable me to stay in Taiwan for a month in July. I stop asking for permission to do anything. My screw-ups become valuable lessons to share with others. I learn to ask what I really want. I know I am being successful in the creation of today.
“I know I am being successful when …”
Now it’s YOUR turn! 💛
Love,
Wen
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