Sometimes, I believe if I have the confidence of an average white guy, things will be so much easier.
Such a situation happened this morning.
I paid for a program from Karen to learn how to build credibility on LinkedIn and create genuine connections with fun and interesting people.
I was challenged to think BIG.
“What are the newspapers, magazines, and podcasts your people read or listen to?”, “And, what are the unique perspectives you offer?” She asked.
I got excited for a moment thinking about putting myself out there. I do have many unique perspectives. In fact, I gave her a long list immediately. Things that I care about with unconventional points of view that I want the world to know.
But within 3 minutes, my glow was gone. She noticed and asked what’s going on in my mind.
I answer: “I do have opinions but I am NOT an expert in any of these topics.”
Of course, my head immediately goes to “who do you think you are”.
Ouch! That hurts.
The imposter syndrome like this shows up in 80% of the women leaders I’ve interviewed. It prevents us from taking the space we desire to shine.
Oftentimes, as women or/and immigrants, we like to be prepared, probably over-prepared.
We pursue the “next” certificate or acquire the “next” skill thinking we’ll feel ready once we have it.
We want to check off ALL the boxes before we ask for the opportunity.
We often over-deliver to prove ourselves that we are better than an average white guy.
Does this sound like you?
Me too!
A fun antidote that a woman leader shared is to ask herself:
“What would an average white guy do in my situation?”
Then, she asked for that promotion because she realized she has done a great job and the company needed her more.
Then, she told her company that she was pregnant regardless of the fear of slowing down her career advancement.
Luckily, she got what she wanted because she reached out before she felt 100% ready.
If I have the confidence like an average white guy in today’s situation, I would believe that I have unique perspectives and the expertise of experiencing each topic first hand. Plus, the topic I care about is worth listening to.
Therefore, I’m going to raise my hands and claim the seats.
What might you do differently if you ask yourself this question when the doubt comes up next time?
Love,
Wen
P.S.
- If you are a white guy and have more tips on boosting your confidence, please hit me up! 😉
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