As I swallowed water in the pool, it brought relief from the feeling of suffocation.
Looking up, I saw people playing near the pool, unaware of what was happening to me.
Without the energy to get up and ask for help, I sank to the bottom and lost consciousness.
Fortunately, I woke up in a hospital emergency room, struggling to breathe.
But at least I could get some air —the precious air!
It turned out a lifeguard on duty saved my life.
That marked my first near-death experience.
Little did I know, I would face a more subtle, second near-death experience, in my corporate life.
As an immigrant woman in tech, I felt the need to quickly adapt to the American way of doing things ever since I moved to this country.
I followed the rules, presented myself in certain ways, concealed a part of myself, and took on more responsibilities, believing I needed to work twice as hard to be seen and achieve my goals.
I wasn’t even clear on what I truly wanted, aside from the expectations set by my boss, society, or parents.
It was akin to swallowing water in the pool.
For a brief moment, I felt a bit better.
I got promoted, viewing the progress as approval and validation of my self-worth.
Yet, as I got good at ‘playing the game,’ I felt increasingly suffocated.
I started liking myself less.
I never felt enough without overly producing or being who I am.
Even leading the best team and working on the most critical projects didn’t make me feel alive.
I couldn’t help but ask myself: Is this all there is?
I knew I needed help to pull myself up.
This time, instead of waiting for a lifeguard, I proactively sought help with my last bit of energy.
I found coaching, and it completely shifted me away from drowning in barriers and ‘shoulds.’
I transitioned from feeling unconscious to making intentional choices, breaking through my own barriers.
I began seeing and creating possibilities for myself.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.” ― C.G. Jung
I share this not to dwell on the past but as a wake-up call. You don’t need a near-death experience to change your life. If you feel blocked or trapped, there are more possibilities than you think. You deserve support.
For immigrant women leaders facing external barriers like biases, stereotypes, or oppressions AND internal barriers like confidence issues, lack of clarity, influence, or an unclear vision, I’m launching the Breaking Barriers Group Coaching Program next February for you. It’s not just a program; it’s a journey to find your confidence, clarity, influence, and community.
I believe I survived these near-death experiences for a reason. My purpose is to support your journey, just as others have supported mine.
If anything in this resonates with you, let’s talk!
Let’s break barriers together.
Love, Wen
P.S. If you know other immigrant women who might benefit from working with me, please forward them this email.
P.P.S. Update: if you read my earlier article about “30 Experiments for Enrollment”, this is the 14th way and I got 2 seats filled. More to come! 😉