In the past two weeks, I’ve connected with three Asian women leaders who recently lost their jobs or are contemplating quitting from a toxic work environment.
We had conversations around fears, their self-value, and what to do next.
I get it. I was there when I was laid off last year. It was such a traumatic experience. It took me a while to come to peace with the event and myself.
The fundamentals of society require us to work. That’s what education is about – to train us to be great workers. Yet, no one teaches us what to do when the shock, disappointments, and disbeliefs happen.
When we are left without a job, all the external validations are gone. So many of what we build our self-worth on seemingly vanished. We feel like a failure.
If this is your situation, I have a message for you:
You are NOT your title.
You are NOT the amount of money you make.
You are WORTHY with or without a job.
You are more VALUABLE than a job that no longer works.
Once we have the awareness of what’s not working, we can always reprogram ourselves. (Yes. It does work!)
Here is my process to turn it around:
- Take substantial time off: gift yourself the time and space to detox and recharge. I recommend at least one month before you search for a job again.
- Be with loved ones: the best way to heal is to love.
- List 100 WANTs: list your 100 WANTs. Go wild! Do things that you’ve put off because you were way too busy. Start crossing some off the list!
- Re-define self-worth: hint – it’s not your productivity nor kudos from other people. I know I’m born worthy although sometimes I forget about it. So, I have my definition to be the amount of love and values I bring to myself and others. What’s the source of your self-worth?
- When you feel ready, talk to someone to get clarity on what you really want next.
- Set the intention to look for what you want and don’t settle!
The process has worked wonders for many. Please share this post with people you think might need it.
Love,
Wen
P.S.