I have been following a coach called Rich Litvin for a few years. He coaches high performers and help them become powerful coaches. He has a private club of high-level leaders that costs a lot to get in and he doesn’t just take anyone with money. Whenever I read his blog posts or listen to his podcast, I devoured the insights from him and his guests. His members already have a track record of successes before they become coaches.
One day, I saw an email from Rich about an accelerator program he is running in October with him and some people from his private club. My heart was racing. I knew I wanted to be coached by him. I wanted to be a masterful coach and learn from the best one. I wanted to experience leaning into the edge of myself.
Immediately, I heard me judging myself: “You are not the high-level leaders in his community. You don’t belong.“ The thought of being in his community terrified me. My imposter syndrome just went crazy.
I am way too experienced in hiding my desires or explaining them away. I ignored the voice wondering what’s more in this life than the conventional paths (getting into a good university, climbing the career ladder, you name it) for so many years. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted directly. I didn’t dare to dream of a career that I love and make me rich.
I went for a walk and did a mental calculation about if I can afford this program. It turned out, I happened to make the exact amount that’s needed from coaching. I took it as a sign, went back home, and signed up for the program before I had a chance to back out. I was terrified. The very thought of “I don’t belong in this community” is EXACTLY the reason I said YES. I thought nothing would be better than being in a community like this to help me becoming a top performer.
Before the program kicked off, Rich had a small group call for some of us to get to know each other. A guy, Patrick, made an impression on me because he joined the call from a hospital in his patient gown. He laughed and smiled at us when Rich asked him about where he zoomed from. His commitment to show up impressed me. His energy was contiguous. Since we are assigned to the same small group, I thought we would have the opportunity for many more intimate conversations. However, as we started the program today, we were informed that Patrick passed away in a hospital.
I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even notice my tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t get to know him and he’s gone. I’ve faced death many times. Each time it’s hard to digest.
I am writing this post to honor Patrick for the gifts he brought to me. I’m grateful that I signed up for the program to be in this community to receive his gifts.
- What it looks like to have the courage to commit and show up, whatever it takes.
- A moment to examine what’s truly important to me.
I feel compelled to share this sad but beautiful moment with you.
Don’t wait until you are ready. You have everything you need already.
The time is NOW. Listen to your heart. Do what you love. Leave no regret.
Love,
Wen