“I know I am valuable but it’s hard to have any energy to focus on myself” Amy said in our coaching conversation.
“Why?” I asked.
“I am the type of person who cares for everyone. I’m the cheerleader and the helper in the family.” She answered.
Then, I said to her, “so, everyone gets the best of you BUT YOU!”
Ouch! She stayed in silence for a while. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
Yet, it’s so true, especially for women.
We are programmed to put everyone’s needs in front of us.
We learn to dim our light so others won’t be too intimidated.
We are told not to be too opinionated and be more agreeable so we’ll be liked.
However, when we do this for too long, we can’t help but build up some resentments. We start having thoughts like:
“No one in my family or friends’ circle asks me how I’m doing.”
“I’m running on an empty tank. Why don’t they pick up their own slack?”
“I wonder how it feels like to reach my full potential. I have so much I haven’t tapped into. Is this all it is?”
Our old programming works until it doesn’t.
Now, if you relate to some part of this story, I have a question for you –
What does it look like if YOU get the best of you?
Love, Wen
P.S. If you like to start getting YOU the best of yourself, reply to this email!