“Are you still thinking about winning the lottery?” My partner asked me the other day.
It’s become a ritual for us to buy lottery tickets during our travels.
For some time, I practiced manifesting the sensation of holding a winning ticket, fantasizing about the possibilities that it could bring.
But since our marriage, we haven’t purchased a single ticket.
I didn’t notice until she brought it up.
Interestingly, the desire for a winning lottery ticket had faded away.
“I think I’ve already won.” – I responded, feeling the sensation.
She seemed confused. So I kept going – “I am in a relationship that make me feel like I’ve already won.”
“Out of the billions of people in the world, we found each other. I wake up every day excited to be with you. I know you have my back and I have yours. “
“We get to grow together everyday. It’s priceless.” – I added.
I surprised myself with the answer. (which is why I’m sharing this although I’m shy to do so.)
You see, for most of my life, I’ve been chasing “more” – a higher title, greater respect, increased wealth.
The pursue itself often left me feeling inadequate.
At the core, what I really want is to be loved.
Ironically, I’m often the one who deprived myself with the need to be more.
But as I’m settling into this new thing called marriage, something shifted.
I have someone telling me how good I am even on days when I doubt it.
I have fantastic days even when I don’t make a dime that day.
I learn to respect myself as I diligently work through doubts, excuses, and resistance.
I can prepare a simple meal and receive praise as if it were a culinary masterpiece.
I can dance and laugh until I’m breathless like no one is watching.
THAT is the sensation of winning the lottery for me.
How about you?
In what ways have you already won lottery, perhaps without even realizing it?
Love,
Wen